wanna go halves on a baby?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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