you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
