The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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