Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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