I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
