he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
