careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
tell your sister to shave her snatch
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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