Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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