On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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