She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
