Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Randomize