hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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