i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
