I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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