If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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