That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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