I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
