I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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