How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
