I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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