Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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