talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
