I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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