he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
