Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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