Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
