i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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