how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I enjoy the company of your penis
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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