If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
