it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
