p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
