So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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