This girl is more easily done than said...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
