his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
