Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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