There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
