Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize