my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
