fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
