i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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