I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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