He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
