I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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