i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
