Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize