i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
