Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
