I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
