Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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