You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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