So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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