Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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