he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
