Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my shit smells like andre
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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