they need to just BURY HIM!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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