For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
