You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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