Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Randomize
