Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
