One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
