she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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