# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
