My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
