I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
